I personally have trouble with the word “call” for several reasons, not the least of which is the fact that my days are filled with service in a secular world. Truth be told, I feel unworthy and out of my element in writing this blog, but I am following this path because God said, “turn here.”
I am an attorney. I have been practicing law since 1999. In my law practice, I started out traveling the broad road, finding the “right” jobs, having “good” clients, and getting to know all the “best” people. When I entered the practice, I had all the indicia of a great career. I had good grades, excellent recommendations, the right extracurricular activities, and a strong work ethic. I was set for the “American Dream.” But, as I began to look at what I was doing and how it was getting done, I didn’t like what I saw. I saw how attorneys did business, and it really affected my outlook on being a lawyer. So, as He has done many times in my life, God said, “turn here.”
Following God’s instruction, in 2005, I came home to my husband and said, “I am starting my own law firm.” I had two clients, only one of which had the ability to pay my legal fees. After talking it through for a couple of days, my husband didn’t bat an eye, because he had seen this before. In committing to this turn, we both knew that I needed to do things a better way. I needed to serve something bigger than billable hours. I needed to follow God’s direction.
Fortunately, my life has been full of ridiculous moments where I just knew to take a different path. It wasn’t some voice or angelic visitation – I just knew. Whether it’s taking up basketball in high school, trying for moot court in law school, buying a house, going to my first few business marketing meetings, getting a black belt in karate, or starting a law practice, God said, “turn here.”
So, I did. Each time, God had a great plan that made no sense. Basketball gave me a safe place in high school and a life-long best friend. Moot court gave me skills for a lifetime of court appearances and public speaking. Buying a house gave me a home unlike any I had ever had as a child. Going to my first marketing meetings allowed me to become a civic leader. Studying karate and earning a Black Belt helped me overcome a feeling of powerlessness. And starting a law practice allowed me to take care of people just because they needed someone to take care of them. Each of these turns made me more of who I am in God, while also giving me what I needed for the next step. Each of these turns required my commitment to follow God’s “call” when He told me to move. Each of these turns required that I move with all my heart and my mind and my soul. And, I have always done so.
Now, after years of self-study and regular church attendance, I know God has asked me to prepare myself for a new turn. For the last few years, my mind has been aflame to learn more about God and His church, reading everything from G.K. Chesterton to Thomas Merton to Barbara Brown Taylor. My spare time is caught up in pages of small print discussing God. I am oft citing the wisdom of four-hundred-year-old saints to the pleasure of some of my closest friends. Remarkably, I started a non-denominational Bible study for my churched and un-churched friends, who trusted me enough to get together and talk about God. For some reason, my abilities as an attorney and speaker have been turned toward the questions of the universe, and I want to know more and take others with me to find answers. All that being said, I have no idea what my “call” will become. I am committed to finding out, because I am certain that God said, “turn here.”
