I adore how crazy Christians are about certain things. Sometimes we truly miss the forest for the trees. Recently, I was truly tickled when a friend posted an internet rant by a Christian woman. In her rant, the woman denounced a “Yoga Barbie.” Yep. Yoga Barbie, you read that correctly.
Apparently, in an effort to release people from more of their money, the makers of Barbie have come up with Yoga Barbie, complete with yoga mat and stretch pants. Barbie, in all of her pink glory, is sitting in a cross-legged pose ready to stretch it out for Satan. I said Satan. According to the poster, Barbie’s participation in yoga is being used as a tool of Beelzebub himself/herself. (I don’t know Satan’s pronouns and ancient Hebrew was flexible with pronouns, don’t tell the “religious right.”)
According to the poster, Barbie has opened the doors of hell by practicing Hinduism. Gasp. Enter paganism and Barbie just punched her ticket to eternal damnation. Personally, I thought Barbie was eternally damned for giving girls eating disorders by fostering unreasonable body images. Or the ridiculous gender norms where Ken gets the sports car while Barbie is constantly swathed in pink. And, lest we forget that Barbie didn’t have a black friend until the mid-1980s, so there was a lot of suburban racism. But according to the internet Christian police, it turns out that Barbie’s stretching to sitar music and burning incense is the key to destruction.
Now, personally, I love Jesus and yoga. In fact, I think that Jesus would have been down with anything that made his followers more healthy and more mindful. You know, like when Jesus constantly wondered off to pray and be with God. I truly believe that Jesus was down with working on mind, body, heart, and spirit. Frankly, I think Jesus was much more worried about your heart than your chosen forms of exercise.
As Christians, we preach and teach about power and freedom, so why not exercise your power and freedom by learning and enjoying other people and cultures? Why not expand your knowledge and participate in other cultures? Truthfully, the more you expose yourself to diverse practices, the freer you become.
Personally, I like yoga and it is not, in and of itself, a religion. Yes, yoga has its roots in eastern practices, like Hinduism. But not all yoga is religious. There are plenty of secular yoga practices and classes in this world. Also, I like incense, especially sage and frankincense. And Christians have been using incense for centuries. So yummy smoky scents are not tied to any one religion. As for sitar music, I get slightly annoyed by the sound of cats being murdered, so I like classes with Yacht Rock or rap, but again, not Hinduism. But none of this is why I find Christian Barbie policing hilarious.
Why are we, as Christians, so scared of other religions or practices? Why are we so worried about exposing ourselves or our children to other cultures and practices? I ponder this especially when our world has shrunk, and we are in constant contact with others unlike us. The other has become our neighbor. So, I want to learn and understand about them. Personally, as a Christian, my faith has strengthened and increased the more that I have studied and participated in practices from other religions and cultures. I have become less worried about my beliefs. And here is why. Most Christians worried about Yoga Barbie have never taken a yoga class. Most Christians worried about Hinduism have never read the sacred Hindu texts. How do we know why these practices exist in the world and how they might affect us if we are only exposed to them by walking through the local Toys-R-Us?
As an example, recently, I was in the local big box hardware store and the clerk that helped me with my paint order had a Henna pattern on her hand. It was the day after Eid, and it was clear that she had celebrated this wonderful Muslim tradition with her family. First, I told her it was beautiful, and then I wished her, “Salem” while I had my hand over my heart. At that word, her eyes got big, she smiled, and replied in similar fashion. She felt seen in this world. She felt seen in a country where Muslim’s are often vilified. That word and understanding her tradition did not magically turn me into a Muslim. It just brought us closer as people. It was a God moment that would never have happened if we were not as people trying to understand and learn from each other.
So, what about Yoga Barbie? I say go ahead and risk eternal damnation. Stretch it out. Ask for better music. Chant. Dance. Curse a little when you do pigeon’s pose. Remember, Jesus isn’t scared of Warrior Pose. Jesus wasn’t worried about these things, He was concerned about closed-minded, judgmental people. In fact, He might be more frustrated that Barbie is still wearing pink, especially since you should be focused on the red – at least in your Bible.
Namaste, Barbie.
